If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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