Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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