Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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