Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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