im having a threesome with these popsicles
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
