they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
