That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
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Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
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I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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