i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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