i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
