PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
