I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
