i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
