u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
