I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
