I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
