We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
