i just had sex bonerless
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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