Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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