what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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