dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Congratulations! We have a period
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