I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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