There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do vagina's smell?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
