sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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