She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
