Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
