Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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