Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
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At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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