i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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