Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar

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(912): i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar http://tfl.nu/twn7

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(475): View more from Connecticut

just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles

(1-475): View more from Connecticut

exact location. now.

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(475): just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles (1-475): exact location. now. http://tfl.nu/2i9v

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(352): View more from Florida

redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!

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(352): redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull! http://tfl.nu/8te0

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.

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(724): i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall. http://tfl.nu/3lmu

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(703): View more from Virginia

"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...

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(703): "Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level... http://tfl.nu/h78w

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(703): View more from Virginia

As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".

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(703): As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake". http://tfl.nu/w0jz

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."

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(859): I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny." http://tfl.nu/6v00

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.

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(717): It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice. http://tfl.nu/vxzt

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.

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(505): Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why. http://tfl.nu/r7vy

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(231): View more from Michigan

I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs

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(231): I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs http://tfl.nu/sh65

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(251): View more from Alabama

Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off

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(251): Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off http://tfl.nu/essr

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(201): View more from New Jersey

for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love

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(201): for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love http://tfl.nu/brad

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Love me.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just for one nugget?

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(508): Love me. (781): GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS. (508): Just for one nugget? http://tfl.nu/9y03

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(270): View more from Kentucky

My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.

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(270): My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore. http://tfl.nu/ol80

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(303): View more from Colorado

Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.

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(303): Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics. http://tfl.nu/jbty

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