What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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