Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
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I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening