Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
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So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.