The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize