guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
