it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
