my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
