New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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