how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
