I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I looked at my own cervix.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize