Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
