I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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