laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
