dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
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pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
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Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Bring me that man meat
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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