I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize