Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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