who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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