He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
