i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
