oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
