I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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