i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
