some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize