we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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