Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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