I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
