Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
