We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize