i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
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The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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