I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
