Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
