i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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