Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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