Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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