I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His nipple licking is glorious
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