Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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