Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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