then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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