haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
